Kafa

The Invitation 2009

2009-08-19T18:19:00.002+02:00

Friday-Saturday, September 18-19 there will be a conference hosted by Faith Ministries in Fredericksburg, VA, titled The Invitation 2009: The Healing of a Woman's Heart. I will be sharing my testimony Friday evening and co-teaching a workshop on Saturday morning and afternoon. Please check out the website for more info...if you're local please consider attending. Scholarships are available!

http://www.faithministries.marshroadbc.org/

Joy...at last

2009-08-08T06:24:00.004+02:00

Aunt Bekah with her Hiro

After a nearly two year absence from the blog world, I've felt a release to begin writing again. I could say a lot of flowery things or make a lot of clever statements, but in the end all I can say is that in the last two years God has been faithful to me. That is such a simple thing to say...and so tossed around...oh the hypocrisy with which I tossed it around! But these days, not even two hours pass when I do not feel such thankfulness to my God who has been faithful to me.

Though I'm keeping my blog title, I'm not in Bosnia anymore. In fact I've been Stateside for nearly two years, but Bosnia and East Europe continue to hold a special place in my heart, and I know that there will come another day where I'll make that trip across the big pond...but for now I'm very content to be home...to be Aunt Bekah (or "Gogox," as the nephew calls me--not really anything close to "Bekah," but don't fault the kid for trying!), and to be near to the family who've prayed me through many many rough waters, and who've been faithful to every end, and dear friends.

More soon.

Sorry...

2007-11-27T20:41:00.000+01:00

...that I changed the settings on my blog without prior notice...in a week, i'm going to close this blog--at least for a season. it started with bosnia, and now that i've left, kafa is due for a makeover. thanks for reading and see you on here later.

Leaving Sarajevo

2007-10-26T16:16:00.001+02:00

Pictures from my going away party last Tuesday--lots of memories in this flat: Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas Eve, New Years' Eve, birthdays, movie nights, girl nights, American nights, Swedish nights...and this was the last gathering in Grbavicka 62, tear...

Sardine fellowship: Enisa, Miki, Lana, Boro, and I want to see how much we can squash ourselves

Lana, Hana and I just got pinched or something

Neso (nay-sho, right) with 2 yanks: Eric and Bekah

We are reaching out to you (Vedrana and me)

Hanna, Vedrana, Senka, Mirela, Claudia, Lina, Belma, and me

Lina and me

Back and forth

2007-10-23T20:03:00.000+02:00

Big news: I've left Sarajevo and returned to the US for several months to "figure out the next part of my life..."

It was a tough decision, and it was a very tough few months, lots of tears, some confusion, lots of goodbyes, but I know I needed to get away for a while, and now the confusion is gone--it was the right thing to do. I had a goodbye party for myself last Tuesday and was very happy to be reminded, by all the gifts and love and friends who came, how much I really have.

Well, leaving Sarajevo isn't all I've been up to these past months...I learned to create a 5 cheese vegetarian lasagna and also a chicken soy stir fry from scratch; I met the US Army General, highest up of the US presence in Sarajevo; I toured Istanbul, Bulgaria, and (undesirable parts of) Serbia; I got a clean bill of health at the dentist (visit long overdue); I watched the sequel of Bridget Jones and wished I could write and think like her (I'm just as good a writer, but not nearly clever or witty enough, which irritates me)...

I learned how to cook schnitzel and cut french fry-sized potatoes; I packed my cello yet again for overseas travel (it didn't break) and checked 3 bags into an Austrian airline for the price of two; and I finally successfully ironed the bottom of the pants I own that are always annoyingly too long.

So, out of Sarajevo now and very accomplished (as you've seen from the above), but feeling small and confused. Sarajevo is definitely not "out of me;" and that's why I've gone--I need to think a lot about the future. Things were starting to get serious and I need time to think before hurling into irreversible life decisions.

More from here later as I hobble along in life...maybe in a few months I'll kick out the crutch; right now I'm leaning very heavily on it.

Ahoy!

2007-09-03T11:49:00.001+02:00

I was in Split, Croatia on Saturday and Sunday...eight members of the church in Sarajevo were invited to a special service hosted by a mission ship, owned by the mission organization Operation Mobilization (OM).

Pastor Sasa has a relationship with members of the OM staff and was invited aboard the ship a few weeks ago to observe the project, and was so impressed that he asked if he could come back and bring a few members of his church with him to see the ship. So away we went!

The ship is called Logos Hope (click here for more info.), and we actually were invited to sleep on the ship Saturday night. I posted a few pictures below...

The ship has been in the shipyard in Split for months, being assembled and prepared for launching in October of this year. From here it will sail to north Germany, where the finishing touches will be added and it will hence be prepared to travel the world.

The primary purpose of the ship ministry is to distribute books around the world...Logos Hope will provide the largest "floating library" in the world. The long term OM team will remain on board for one to two years at least, and will spend time ministering to people wherever they travel, both on the ship and in the towns, cities and villages.

We got to be a part of a special service yesterday afternoon, dedicated to churches in Split who have hosted and shown hospitality to OM in their churches during the time of the ship's construction. It was exciting to be there and to hear about all that God is going to do through this unique ministry...

One of the four main engines

Captain's main hangout

9th (top) deck

The bow

Bosnian Wedding

2007-08-31T12:57:00.001+02:00

Last Saturday I got to attend the wedding of a Bosnian couple, Samir and Svjetlana. It was a wonderful experience, and a very Bosnian one...food, wine, karaoke, the whole deal...and I caught the bride's bouquet for which I was relentlessly teased the rest of the night.

Here are a few pictures...

Pretty outdoor scene

Samir and Svjetlana saying their vows

Pastors praying for the couple

Boro and me with the newlyweds

Senka, me, Hanna and Enisa sassing it up

2007-08-23T09:44:00.000+02:00

I've declared Vienna International the best airport in Europe. Cleanest, friendliest, plenty of healthy food places, and, most of all...free internet. Very good perks for those whose bodies think it's 3:30 AM.

Got 4 hours to kill here, and, as I can't decide if it would be wildly inappropriate to drink a beer at 9:30 (3:30???). Hard to pass up beer in this part of the world, but still...one time zone would make me a raging alcoholic, and the other, make me feel like a high schooler sneaking around in the parents' basement. Hmm.

En route once again to Sarajevo. and the shock of the small people and sudden vicious stares from strangers, and my lovely apartment, and those I've been missing all summer. More from there.

End of summer

2007-08-16T06:16:00.001+02:00

Looking to "home"

Cunningham Muffins!

2007-08-12T07:12:00.000+02:00

I know I'm a sick idiot, but this video made me laugh like I haven't in years.

Hiro's first photoshoot

2007-07-28T21:48:00.001+02:00

Tightly wadded up baby

Hiro with the Caulks

Happy moment

Aunt Rebekah and Aunt Abby

Bye!

2007-07-26T01:50:00.000+02:00

Early tomorrow morning I'm going out of town...first to Kentucky to see Grandma Caulk, then to Missouri to see Rachel and Jeremy and my new nephew, then to Illinois to see my mom's relatives, lastly to Michigan, to visit my cousins and aunt and uncle.

I will post some pictures soon, especially of the nephew Hiro (Japanese, means "generous")!

2007-07-26T01:37:00.000+02:00

I wonder if Braxton Hicks was related to Taylor Hicks...

Friday night US Army Band

2007-07-23T04:26:00.001+02:00

Transitioning

2007-07-23T03:32:00.000+02:00

Well, it's a time of transitioning--majorly...I'm in VA for a month, and while here I've got some real life thinking to do. Having been here a week, today I decided was the day to start tackling some of this tough life stuff.

The past months in Bosnia, ridden by times of joy, chaos, confusion, decision, new beginnings, old ends, and just days of throwing up my hands and not having any answers, are now concluded...and here I stand at the end of them with one simple question to sum it all up: what now?

We often ask ourselves and one another, where do I/you see my/yourself a few years from now? I thought I had the answer before I moved to Bosnia. But what's happened in me recently is that I've really needed to figure out a lot of things about myself: particularly who I am and what I really want and what it all means in my relationship and submission to God.

And through this struggle to find this stuff out, I've had to battle some demons I've had for years that threatened to destroy my faith and confidence. I've cried, laughed, spent days utterly frustrated and depressed, had days of feeling like I couldn't make it...and now on the other side of the spectrum I see how necessary it was for me to "suffer" and see the ugliness of my heart in the light of God. If the light is allowed to shine, the darkness cannot dwell.

I went to Bosnia to serve, but now I see that the Lord's plans for me were a little more detailed than that...He decided to take me far away from home and my comfortable, insulated environment, and to show me what a selfish, weak child I am without Him. And boy, does God have a way of letting us see who we are without Him.

But "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) And I found such friends in those difficult times. I found people who aren't going to give up on me. Because God didn't. God allowed those people to speak strong truths into my life, and to tell me boldly. How it's possible to express thanks enough to friends like that, I don't know....

Who I am and where I want to go (back to Bosnia, for now) and what I want to do (continue teaching English as well as pursue some other desires), and who I want to be in God and how I want to serve...all those blanks are filling in. There are a few other blanks that I'm taking this month to seriously consider and pray for, but I am encouraged, and I am starting to not fear the unknown.

I feel like I've been under the surgeon's knife, completed the surgery, and am now going through the slow process of relearning some of the basics, but each step forward is walking away from the past and putting good ground between myself and what is dead. Thanks for helping me on that walk.

Za tebe, hvala

Inside Northwest Bosnia

2007-06-20T12:38:00.000+02:00

Enisa and I spent last weekend in Banja Luka (Bahn-yah Loo-kah), Bosnia, stopping through Jajce (Yah-eet-say) en route back to Sarajevo. Here are some photos from the trip.

Banja Luka is the second largest city in Bosnia, and inhabited primarily by Serbians (part of the Serb Republic).

I found Banja Luka proper to be refreshingly western in comparison with other Bosnian cities. Though still poor with a high unemployment rate, Banja Luka, unlike Sarajevo, strives to keep up appearances of prosperity.

Downtown Banja Luka: Ljilja (Lili-ya), from Herzegovina, and Belinda, from Cape Town, SA--work with a college student ministry

Banja Luka "Kastel," built four centuries ago (notice this picture was taken in the winter--we didn't get a good frontal view, so I found one on the web)

Outside the castle walls

On the castle grounds

View from the top

Jajce (which, translated, literally means "little egg"), is the city where former Yugoslavia was established. Before returning to Sarajevo, we spent the afternoon wandering the ruins of ancient Jajce

Jajce, yum!

One of the beautiful views from the stone walled windows. I'm being smart and leaning forward, not backward

Christi and Enisa adorning a threshhold

Dungeon, 17 centuries old, impenetrable walls: here prisoners were thrown to the bears

Prisoners' view of the sky as they were being gobbled

From left: Dina, Sanela, Vanja (Von-ya), me, Christi

One of Jacje's beautiful waterfalls

On the road again

2007-06-10T12:03:00.000+02:00

Off to Banja Luka for a couple of days; tell you about it when I get back!

2007-06-07T13:32:00.000+02:00

First omelette I made in my life, this morning, was perfect. I had a genuine fear of omelette-making, and because it was so hyped up in my mind, I almost started sweating when it was time to flip the thing.

But voila. A wonderful half circle of egg, tomato, edamer cheese and garlic salt. Completely cooked all the way through. Gorgeous.

Samo 10

2007-05-21T15:16:00.000+02:00

Last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, a few of us missionaries and volunteers from the church spent the mornings putting up advertisements for this event that will take place at 7, tonight (Monday) through Friday in the Bosnian Cultural Center.

In Bosnian, "Samo 10 (or deset)" means "Only Ten." What sparks the curiousity is that the ad fails to elaborate--only ten what? As we've been hanging posters, passers by have stopped us on the streets, asking what Only Ten means, and we've had some fun and let them try a few guesses before telling them that it's actually referring to the laws God gave to Moses for Israel.

Faces inevitably fall in disappointment, and some Bosnian equivalent of, "Oh, that ten," follows, and they mutter and walk away. One guy actually corrected us and said there are only seven laws of God...we figured out later that he had mistaken the ten commandments for the seven deadly sins.

So anyway, every night this week, the Evangelical Church of Sarajevo Pastors Slavko and Sasa will each give a short 15 minute teaching on the ten Commandments, and then.....? Those who are interested will be invited to the church, or to receive more literature and information, and we're hoping that a lot of fruit will come from it.

We don't know who will come or how they will respond, but we are praying for great things to happen this week. Please keep Sarajevo in your thoughts and prayers!

Me, proud of how straight my posters are hanging :)

As you see, no one really cares what gets hung up on the walls downtown...anything goes! Great for us--we don't have to deal with the government for permission

Zeljko (Jel-ko), zealous and in charge

Addicted

2007-05-21T11:31:00.001+02:00

I don't know why I'm subjecting my hair to this...it must be so damaged by now, it's hatin' life (notice how my facial expression looks like I wish to hurt small animals?). But once you start highlighting, unless you paint it all brown again, you have to keep going and going and going, as it becomes lighter and lighter and lighter.

I'm caught in a vicious downward spiral of blond and can't fight my way out. I know that one or two more highlightings from now I will make the decision to take on the mall chick look and start letting dark roots rear their unattractive heads, or make everything all one fakey color in an attempt to recapture my former natural color, if I can remember what that is. Or I could just go the Sinead O'Conner way, which I think would make not a few people very unhappy.

I like blond....a lot. But false blond, no matter how lovely it looks, is like an addictive drug that only leads to despair and destruction, or total, platinum blondness, in the end. I am imprisoned by my ever-lightening hair.

Hiking Bjelasnica with the English class

2007-05-16T14:35:00.000+02:00

The lone streak

Barren

This is before the actual hiking...we are men of philosophy, not of action

It was hot

Elena and Jan (Yahn) like rocks; don't mess with them

Girls, we are gorgeous

Enisa, getting her sun on

So deal with it, Bekah

2007-05-14T11:18:00.000+02:00

I'm having a Just Because day. I love my friends Kevin and Pari, because they coined the term; Just Because days are days when you decide that enough is enough, throw out your schedule, and take time just to be alone and deal with it. This morning I woke up feeling that I needed to scream, and that's never a healthy attitude to bring to a morning prayer meeting at church. Sometimes when I have felt like that, I've gone on anyway, and I realize later that I probably should have stayed away and spared everyone my poison and negativity.

This makes me sound like a wretched person, and I am. I'm going to be totally honest. Sometimes it feels like the only thing redemptive about being in Bosnia is the coffee. I am often frustrated by the lack of morality I see in the mundane: police pulling foreign motorists over and scamming them out of 20 marks, waiters giving incorrect change and then swearing that you gave them a 20 when you really gave them a 50, beggars ceaselessly haranguing you with their stolen sunglasses and perfume while you try to eat lunch...I could go on and on, but this is all every day life here. I signed up for it, but sometimes I feel like I've bitten off way more than I can chew.

Anyway, forgive the complaining; this is reality, though. It always helps me to be real about these things, and to face the fact that it's really hard, and often not rewarding. I think Laura (see Asia and Chocolate) put it best, when she said something along the lines of, "I can't pretend that everything about it [missions] is wonderful..." Something like that. A lot of it is wonderful, but a lot of it feels like crap. That's the truth.

This article gives you a sense of how draining it often is to live in Bosnia. The truth of the matter is that Bosnia seems like a hopeless and forgotten nation, and in many ways it is, but I don't want to paint you a completely black picture. I love Bosnia, and the reason I'm here is because I want to see things change, and I believe they will...but there is a price to pay for anyone who is here and has that desire.

I do NOT consider myself a martyr or a saint because I'm in Bosnia, quite the opposite...often I wonder how in the world I was so blessed to have this opportunity to live in such an amazing country; last weekend I spent the day hiking in the mountains, and it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life. But I see now what a huge sacrifice one must make to fight for a fair and strong nation, and after only one year of being in that struggle, I wonder how others have done it.

I am absolutely spoiled rotten. I have an American passport and I could return to the States or go anywhere else in the world and never return to Bosnia. I think I complain more because I know I have freedom and yet God has called me here, and because I am used to all the priveleges and liberties I was born into, but God wants me to give those up, for at least a season. So, in other words, I don't have the right to complain, but I feel so ragged and thin and weary, I need to complain.

My homegroup back in the States was absolutely lovely and sent me a care package recently. You can never know what a comfort marshmallow creme can be. I am sitting here with the jar and the spoon and my laptop, letting the world (or the 7 people who read this) know why I decided I'm at the end of my rope and needed to be completely lazy just because. There it all is, the ugly all exposed and out in the open. It feels wonderful to know that I can feel like the yuckiest scum, and know that I am but for the grace of God.

Please take a Just Because day sometime if you don't already--they're very therapeutic, and they often teach, in wonderful ways, the truth about the desperate wickedness of our hearts aside from Christ. Yuck.

Miss Personality

2007-04-25T14:00:00.000+02:00

My friend Hanna serves here as a missionary from Sweden. I don't know how she does it, but somehow, wherever she goes, Hanna "collects" people. She has friends all over the city--I think she is on a first name basis with all of the airport personnel, security guards in our big shopping center always stop her for a chat, and she knows several nationally famous basketball players.

She makes friends in circumstances where I would be quiet and keep to myself. She really reminds me of my sister Abby, who is best friends with everyone from the cutest boy at school to the lady who cleans the bathrooms at the mall. I admire this trait--with me, in new situations I am either intimidated or overly bold; and intimidation usually wins out.

At Christmas some of the Swedish missionaries here went to a Santa Lucia gathering at their embassy. I think Hanna picked up another 3 or 4 friends with whom she keeps in regular touch. Attending a Christmas party at an American embassy alone would terrify me, so I could never be so bold as to pursue friendships with strangers I met one time with whom I had only one thing in common: being American.

Anyway it takes a rare person indeed to be able to sit in a coffee bar in a foreign country with random strangers and make friends. Hanna does that. She has an extraordinary gift of drawing people out and making them feel comfortable. I was talking with her this morning and marveling at this gift in her life. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but I think the strength of universal friendliness is one I would love to have. Every human is drawn to such a person--I hope that Hanna and others like her realize what a treasure they are.

2007-04-18T17:02:00.000+02:00

Blessings and prayers to all those who have lost friends and loved ones in the Monday shootings at Virginia Tech.

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep."

I Thessalonians 4:13-14

Trip to the UK

2007-04-11T11:40:00.000+02:00

Mom and dad and I in London

I recently spent some time in the UK: mainly for an annual church network conference in Swanick, England, but also was able to travel to Lincoln, Nottingham, Birmingham, and London. It was a fantastic time. Here are a few pictures and some thoughts on my trip...

Painting on the wall of Betel, Birmingham. Isaiah 61:3 reads: "[He will] provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning..."

Betel is a church-planting organization that was founded in Spain in 1985 by missionaries from Worldwide Evangelization for Christ (WEC International). The main goal of its founders was to reach the destitute and despised members of society struggling with alcohol and drug addictions. Once clean, these former addicts are given the chance to become part of society, finding employment in one of Betel's many self-funded businesses.

My dad was invited to preach at Betel of Birmingham on the Friday night before the funeral of a young man of 26 who had, through Betel, come clean from a heroin addiction and been fully restored and given his life to the Lord. He had become a successful leader in Betel, skilled as a tree surgeon, the top surgeon in the business. Several weeks ago he tragically fell to his death on a routine job. The funeral was to be Saturday, the morning after my dad preached. It was an emotionally difficult but very healing meeting--what a reminder that we, as children of God, are those that do not grieve without hope!

Kent and Mary Alice Martin, leaders of Betel Birmingham, leading worship at Friday night's meeting

Antique furniture shop owned by Betel: residents of Betel run the shop and are responsible for refurbishing all furniture bought for retail sale in this store

Room where all refurbishing of the furniture takes place

Now to Swanick, England

I was invited by my church to attend the Ground Level conference in Swanick, England, for a time of spiritual renewal and refreshing. As a missionary in the Balkans it's important to have times to "draw away" and be refreshed and meet with other believers from my nation and culture. I was so thankful to attend--I was really enriched and strengthened by the teaching and the fellowship at Ground Level.

Main building at the Hayes Center in Swanick, England, where the conference took place. What a beautiful location for a conference, eh? :)

Mom and dad and me at dinner

English people like to go to the pubs every night--even after church

"Little" side trip on our way to Nottingham to see Chatsworth, famous location of the filming of Pride and Prejudice. Ah, Mr. Darcy!

Any true Jane Austen follower will know that this is Mr. Darcy's "beautiful grounds at Pemberly."

Mom and dad, with Graham and Molly Bell, who hosted us at their home and church in Nottingham

Beautiful open air market in Lincoln, England

Lincoln Cathedral

Us in front

Spring tulips

And last but DEFINITELY not least...

What struck me the most about London, I think, was that it is massive and more culturally diverse than any city I think I've ever been to. It was beautiful. Wish I'd gotten some pictures of Her Majety's Theatre, where we saw The Phantom of the Opera

London's beautiful Westminster Abbey paints the morning sky

Big Ben at night

Welcome down underground

Trafalgar Square

Tower Bridge

Beautiful and equally delicious cakes and pastries from Paul, popular bakery in London

Strange things happen on the streets of Covent Garden: his guy must have been freezing

Our day of gorgeous weather in London

The pigeons are feeling it

2007-03-09T11:49:00.000+01:00

The pigeons are drunk on love right now and not paying attention to anything rational. On a walk to the bank last week, I accidentally kicked a wayward pigeon. I secretly wished the accidental kick had been on purpose. You will hopefully acquit me of cruelty when I tell you that pigeons think my balcony is their latrine. A friend of mine said that for my birthday this year, "I am going to buy you a pen full of pigeons..." As I rolled my eyes in disgust, he finished the sentence: "...and a machine gun." This is the guy who (because of an infestation problem) once strapped fireworks to a few pigeons, let them fly high, high, into the sky, and then watched them go POOF!

Anyway, I've been observing pigeons a lot lately in parallel to the changing season--all lovey-dovey and paired up, huddled close together on the rooftops, the guy ruffling his feathers to show his girl that he's big and strong (like bull), and the gal purposefully ignoring him, only increasing the intensity of his admiration for her. I got to thinking just how dumb and dull-witted creatures become in love.

I think soon the pigeons will calm down and start laying their eggs (I can't stand the thought of pigeon multiplication, but I suppose I can imagine that their spawn is a tiny bit cute when they first hatch), assume their parental responsibility, and trade the love feasts for early nights, worm gathering, and flying lessons. But the season of twitterpation is definitely upon them, and I find that, despite myself, I'm happy for this their brief and blissful season of amour.

2007-03-01T21:24:00.000+01:00

Beautiful as it is delicious

One of my self-portraits. Hmm.

The Mediterranean Coast at sunset

Stari Most, in Mostar last week...we had horrible weather but were able to squeeze a couple of good pictures out of it.

Elizabeth and I are quite the schemers

In Dubrovnik again. It has not been winter here at all.

Friends

2007-02-22T21:02:00.000+01:00

My laptop adapter died a couple of weeks ago, disallowing me to juice up my battery--hence the no posting. Welcome to 220 wattage not being kind to my American Dell Notebook. More soon...I hope. At least pictures soon. Maybe....?

Back to normal, I guess...sort of

2007-02-13T12:59:00.000+01:00

It's only been a few hours since their departure, and I'm already bemoaning the fact that my parents are en route back to the States...Soooo, part of my self-pitying session is adding more pictures of their trip on here...in a few days things will feel normal again I guess...but I'm in all sorts of denial right now. :)

Our glasses match! This is at one of my favorite restaurants in the old town, "Inat Kuća," (EE-NAHT KOO-CHA: which means the "House of Spite")--great Bosnian Pot (the stew, not "the 'pot'"! :)

This is where I teach. As is the case with most buildings here, the outside looks awful but the inside is quite lovely, darling

Mom's talking about how delicious the ćevapi is. And it is.

Church Sunday night: they just moved the service to the evening, and I felt like a heathen not getting up for church that morning, although somehow I was able to console myself with a lot of kafa and some Scripture

Dad preaching, Drina translating. Afterwards, Drina says to my dad, "Well, I preached a great sermon, I don't know about you!"

"I can't believe I fell for that worm and hook thing...I've gotta be some kind of naive." -Last night's dinner

The past week

2007-02-06T07:57:00.000+01:00

Church of St. Peter and St. Paul

The crew in Osijek

On the bridge over the Drava

Mom's really enjoying the cafe ministry--inexpensive and wonderful coffee in a great atmosphere

Getting a McDonald's fix in Osijek, Croatia

Zeljio (Jel-ee-oh)--best cevapi joint in Sarajevo!

Cevapi--Bosnia's fast food

Filip, Dubravko, Suzana, Vesna from Osijek

Beautiful Suzana

2007-02-06T07:43:00.000+01:00

It's been a whirlwind two weeks, but it's calming down now. I need to not hypocritically threaten people who leave huge gaps in time between blogging. Sorry.

I recommend Mostar

2007-01-23T07:30:00.000+01:00

Oops, we accidentally killed Senka

On Sunday after church a few of us girls popped down to Mostar for the afternoon and evening. Mostar is south of Sarajevo, in the Hercegovina part of Bosnia and Hercegovina, about halfway between Sarajevo and Dubrovnik, Croatia. Mostar has a very Mediterranean climate: we were delighted by palm trees and balmy weather. Ahhh!

Mostar was hit hard during the siege of the early nineties, and the political strife sharply divides the Catholics and Muslims in the city, making it one of the most (if not the most) spiritually oppressive cities in the Balkans.

I didn't get a lot of pictures because it was getting dark, but here are a few...

Dusk in the old city

Budo and Senka

Stari Most (literally "Old Bridge"), where Mostar got its name

City wall

Honestly

2007-01-15T10:38:00.000+01:00

I confess that I went into this New Year having made absolutely no resolutions whatsoever. Very uncharacteristic of me, as I'm the queen of resolutions--the neat little lists written in my journal with different colored markers; they seem so exciting once they're down on paper. I usually break every one by March 1, but to me, the resolution-making is more the point. I am a creature of NO habit, unless procrastination counts as a habit.

I think I may have halfheartedly resolved to do the dishes on a more regular basis, but I'm not sure. I've been spending so much time with Bosnian friends trying to speak Bosnian and listen to as much Bosnian as possible, that I guess one big resolve is to speak Bosnian 100% more by the end of this year. That's 99% more than I speak now.

Hm, I need to run more. Whenever I run I wonder why I don't do it more? It feels great, and the positively spring-like weather with the pollen-less benefit of winter indicates that I am without excuse, and that I should be getting out there every day.

I definitely need to memorize more Scripture. I once made it a goal to memorize more Scripture than I knew movie quotes. I wonder what the ratio of fluff to substance is in my brain--ooh, I don't want to go there. And I'd like to read some books on Islam; it's awful hard to evangelize Muslims when one knows three total things about their religion. No, I'm exaggerating--I know enough, but not at the depth I wish.

One resolution that is a guarantee: this year I will reach my hair to the length of elbows goal that I began back in May of 2005. And I will get to London this year--fish, chips, cup o' tea, Big Ben, castles, westerners--ahhh!

But seriously my resolution making and breaking reminds me what an extraordinarily undisciplined person I am. Oh well!

Sepia is my new favorite

2007-01-15T01:12:00.000+01:00

Samaritan's Purse in Sarajevo

2007-01-09T11:26:00.000+01:00

Over the weekend, with the help of Samaritan's Purse, many Bosnian kids were blessed. Each year, over two weekends in early January, the church in Sarajevo receives and distributes Samaritan's Purse gifts to hundreds of poor children in this city. In addition, a play is put on by church members here, and performed before each scheduled gift distribution.

It was such a delight to see so many families blessed and ministered to. I have made Samaritan's Purse gift boxes for many years back at home, but have never had the privilege of actually seeing the beneficiaries on the receiving end! What a joy!

You're not really Bosnian if you haven't been robbed a couple of times

2007-01-09T10:25:00.000+01:00

I have been officially initiated into Bosnian culture. Sunday night, by what means or method I know not and perhaps never will know, my wallet was stolen. Most likely it was picked off while I was at the store buying some water before heading to the church for a meeting. My Bosnian friends have warned me many times over about how sneaky and professional the pick-pocketers are here, but, careful as I've been with my money, I guess the American in me believed that I was immune to any attempts on my goods. Ha! Two days later I am all the wiser, and enjoying many servings of humble pie.

It's amazing how quickly these criminals are able to make use of their fresh kill. I raced home as soon as I realized I'd been robbed, started frantically trying to call my bank's 800 number (it was Sunday afternoon back home and I had a nightmare of a time finding the number for emergencies only), but by then $400 had already been taken from my account. Within 15 minutes after that, I checked my balance again and another $300 had vanished. Finally, with the help of my parents back home, I was able to have the bank block my account and report fraudulent activity.

The $700 loss from my bank account is in the process of being recovered, thank the Lord. Unfortunately, on that particular evening I had an equivalent of $200 in Bosnian Marks in my wallet. I usually don't carry a lot of cash on me--it had only been in there for a few hours and I'd been planning to transfer it to a safe place in my apartment that night. But that was never to be, and I have learned that in the future if I withdraw a lot of money, it needs to be secured right away.

I hope whoever robbed me is enjoying their new TV or refrigerator or free tanks of gas or home gym equipment; I'm feeling a little violated and vulnerable, but otherwise I am enjoying the good life lesson that their petty crime has taught me!

New Year Novelty

2007-01-02T11:47:00.001+01:00

Elizabeth and Miki, taking their lives into their own hands :)

New Year's is the biggest celebration of the year for Bosnians. Communism forbade the celebration of Christmas and other religious holidays, so New Year's sort of became all holidays packed into one. And boy, do the Bosnians celebrate! I have to admit I've never really celebrated New Year's the way most people do--usually the most I do on New Year's Eve is rent a movie and play games with my family, and maybe stay up until midnight and watch the New York countdown on TV, then pop open a bottle of $10 champagne from Rite Aid. So wow, did I get an eyeful Sunday night-Monday morning!

People started showing up at my place at around 7, and in the end 20+ people were crowded in: the bedroom doubled as a coat and shoe closet, a nearly five foot mound of scarves and coats on the bed, people spilling into the hallway and kitchen.

I think all the boys each brought a mess of fireworks that they started throwing off my balcony at 10. As the evening progressed, the guys got more creative with the method of throwing them. A couple of the fireworks detonated without ever having left the balcony, making the girls shriek and the guys laugh hysterically. The more cautious among us rebuked them and told them to quit letting them explode so close to human appendages.

A couple of minutes before midnight the entire crowd, champagne, cups, and fireworks in hand, raced downstairs and outside to ring in the new year. The display over and around us was awesome; fireworks exploded from buildings, mountains, on streets...Everywhere you looked there was noisy popping and explosions and smoke and color. It went on with intensity for 15 minutes--we threw our share of them and laughed and hugged and drank champagne and wished each other a Happy New Year. We went back inside but the fireworks went on well into the early hours of the morning. So, it seemed like New Year's celebration was starting to wind down. But oh no, what I didn't realize was that the partying had just begun.

I really don't want to go too much into the next four hours, but let's just say that for me, it was a baptism of fire into the whole clubbing scene. I'd honestly had no prior idea that clubbing was the intention of the group going downtown. I probably wouldn't have gone had I known that. It was enjoyable for the first couple of hours, though insanely hot, loud, and filled with drunk Bosnians. I was thrown up on as I was leaving the bathroom in the first place we went to.

Shortly after that, we decided this club was a little too much to take, and we left and went to another club, equally as loud and crowded, but thankfully with couches not covered with half passed out horizontal partiers. I was so tired my eyes were crossing, and it was only when I realized that half of the group intended to stay out all night that I asked for a ride home from those who were leaving. At 5 AM I collapsed into bed, the techno beat still pulsating in my head.

So, two days later, having mostly physically recovered from the beating I gave my body all Sunday night, I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I've missed out on much on the "party scene" aspect of New Year's Eve celebrations. But it was a wonderful evening that will be remembered for many New Year's Eves to come. And I have high respect for those who've had the endurance to make an entire night of it each year.

So I posted some pictures of the countdown party below:

The "Coat Closet"--see the bed under there?

The Swedish girls: queens of the dance floor

Enisa and Hanna

Miki getting ready to launch one off the balcony

Boro and Devin

Kat and Elena

Enisa and me

Boro, Miki, Srdjan, and Alden serenading us. A couple of seconds after this picture Boro pretended to light a dud firework; horrified shrieks ensued

One of the inventive ways discovered to detonate fireworks; I'd wondered why there was a big black hole in the middle of my candle the next morning!

A third of us

Traditional New Year's food tray--the Bosnians really know their meats and cheeses!

Srdjan won the most creative firework thrower of the night award--just look at that smirk :)

2006-12-27T12:08:00.000+01:00

May I once again direct you to Perihelion if you'd like to see pictures from our lovely Sarajevo Christmas Eve. The first few are of St. Anthony's Cathedral downtown.

I committed a dastardly deed and forgot my camera that evening, but Elena was able to capture the essence of the celebration beautifully! Thanks, Elena!

Christmas east of you

2006-12-26T10:16:00.000+01:00

Christmas quietly came and went in Sarajevo, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed spending it here. Surprised, because the majority of the population is Muslim--yeah, bah humbug! There's no way to tell that it's Christmas in Sarajevo by looking out the window; mind you, there are a few stores owned by the Slovenians and Croatians that put up decorations and have the obligatory Santa in all forms: inflatable, mechanical, and the real deal. But for the most part Christmas looks and feels like just another day here.

At first that fact upset me, but then I got to thinking that if I strip off all my pre-conceived notions of how things ought to be and simply focus on just having a heart of celebration, the decorations and traditions are merely icing on the cake. Freed from the distractions of all the to-do of the Christmas season, I was able to celebrate with more joy and thankfulness than I think I ever have, and the reality of Christ's birth and humanity on this earth was even more amazing to me.

On Christmas Eve morning at church, though nothing was mentioned during the service about Christmas, everyone kindly greeted me with "Sretan Božić" (Merry Christmas). I have come to really sympathize with the fact that Christmas is associated so much here with the suffering of war and religious and political agenda. And since most of the church members converted from Islam, Christmas is not even a part of their vocabulary--it's just another religious something that the Catholic and Orthodox churches recognize. For a long time it was very hard for me to accept the fact that this church doesn't acknowledge Christmas or Easter, but living here and coming to know this culture has truly softened my heart on the issue.

So, the few of us who celebrated put our heads together and were able to conjure up a lovely Christmas celebration. I made some familiar, traditional Christmas foods, and later people came over and we talked and sang and sipped hot mulled wine. No gift-giving, just delightful fellowship. I loved the simplicity of it--there's so much commotion and busyness associated with Christmas that it's hard to just relax and really enjoy one another. I loved that I was able to really enjoy people this year.

And at 11:30 we headed downtown to St. Anthony's, the beautiful Catholic cathedral, for the midnight mass. This was my favorite part of the evening. The cathedral was absolutely packed, so much so that the crowd was spilling out into the entranceway. Fireworks were going off in the street right outside the building, some of them so loud that they were setting off car alarms. Everyone smelled like too much beer, and standing so close to people made it a bit difficult to breathe, but it was an unforgettable moment in my life.

As I stood in the crowd and watched, I realized that I love a lot of the liturgy of the Catholics--I believe that the fear of God and the reverance has been lost in many evangelical churches, and that we're too relaxed in the presence of God. It's convicting to know that, though we should absolutely not embrace their doctrine, we could learn a lot from the Catholics about putting holiness and fear of the Almighty God back into the church.

But I digress. It was the first mass I've ever seen and I really enjoyed it; and what a beautiful building. Not cheesy and filled with icons like some of the Orthodox churches I've seen. A beautiful domed ceiling to which the organ and voices raised the familiar strains of Silent Night (in Bosnian). Thanks to Boro, my Bosnian friend, I was able to understand the gist of the mass, too, though from where we were standing it was difficult to hear the pope. He did a fabulous job translating, though, despite the hindrance.

On Christmas Day I ordered chicken curry from Taj Mahal, and watched Elizabeth Bennet fall in love with Mr. Darcy all over again. Six hours of pure, Jane Austen bliss. That's my idea of a Christmas Day well spent. And thanks to Skype, I got to wish the family a Merry Christmas both days, and hear about all the festivities, food and gifts on their end.

So, it's all over until next year. It always surprises me how quickly Christmas comes and goes. What a blessing to have been able to spend it here. I have absolutely no idea where I'll be next year, but I'm sure I will let you know.

Merry Christmas once again, and Happy New Year!

Johann turned in his grave

2006-12-21T21:44:00.000+01:00

I was possessed this afternoon and decided to dust off my Bach, Six Suites for Cello, that I haven't touched since college. Three hours later I realized I was still sawing away at it; take the word "sawing" literally--hack, hack, hack.

Oh, the justice I did NOT do to Bach today. Shame on me for being so rusty!

Amen, Amen, Amen, AMEN!

2006-12-21T16:52:00.000+01:00

Thanks to my sister Abby, at last I know that I have a kindred spirit who understands, as a fellow cellist, my loathing of this composer.

2006-12-19T08:06:00.000+01:00

"'Come now, let us reason together,' says the Lord: 'though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be white as snow...'" Isaiah 1:18

2006-12-19T04:30:00.000+01:00

4:30 AM

My Beautiful Poinsettia

2006-12-16T13:22:00.000+01:00

It's Christmastime, so the other day I bought a poinsettia--I didn't even know that poinsettias grew here, so I was thrilled when Mark and Elena told me that indeed they do, and showed me to the floral shop where they're sold. I found the perfect one, bought it, and it now proudly sits on my table in the living room by the window.

List of "Good Stuff" wanes

2006-12-11T23:19:00.000+01:00

Neglected blogs will be deleted. Muahahahaa!

2006-12-06T19:26:00.000+01:00

Check out Mark and Elena's blog site for pictures from Mozart's Requiem last night. They are beautiful. It was an phenomenal evening, never to be forgotten!

2006-12-06T17:11:00.000+01:00

2006-12-06T13:31:00.000+01:00

I was meditating on Psalm 125 in devotions today, and was really struck by the beginning of the chapter:

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds the people, from this time forth and forevermore." (1-2)

What an image! I just think about the mountains that surround my little valley of Sarajevo, the might and majesty that towers above us, that shields us from strong winds and provides us with water and the lumber that heats our homes. We, in Christ, are every bit as strong as those mountains.

How opposite I feel to a mountain when I am anxious--it's so against the natural tendency to trust in the Lord--the big deception is the belief that holding on to worry and fretting over things gives me more control in my circumstances. I am learning, though, that giving all over to God and trusting the Lord brings me peace, and when I simply trust, all fear is vanquished.

When I am pressing into God I am the boldest, most faith-filled person--in Christ there is nothing I can't do--but when I begin to let doubt creep in, little by little that faith is eaten away at, and I become a pessimistic worrier--and I'm most definitely the opposite of bold.

So, what seems so backward and unnatural in my flesh is the very thing that lifts me up and frees me from cares and fears. Truly, we can do all things through Him who gives us strength! (Philippians 4:13)

I realize once again that this truth is "old hat" to me--but humbled because of the need to preach it to myself daily, and convicted by how easily I begin to forget. If I'm not getting filled, I'm being emptied. So God, let me be as Mount Zion, and trust in You with everything I have today!

Tonight, tonight!!

2006-12-05T11:49:00.000+01:00

Tonight, the Philharmonic Orchestra of Sarajevo proudly presents: Mozart's Requiem. Oh, glorious, wondrous night! Oh, heavenly sounds!

On (not) cooking for one

2006-12-04T14:14:00.000+01:00

I forget to eat when I'm alone. Like right now, I'm sitting with my Bosnian/Croatian dictionary and language texts spread out all over the floor, studying vocab and padeži (cases), a cup of half-consumed and now undrinkable coffee and an orange peel at my side, and I'm wondering why all of the sudden my stomach is acting insane and I feel faint? It's been 4 hours since the orange, and I'm realizing I accidentally missed that whole breakfast and lunch memo.

Please bear with me for a minute or two of pure belly-aching (pardon the pun) :). The thought of going into the kitchen right now and preparing food makes me bored. I absolutely adore cooking--big groups of guests and the happy chaos of chopping and sauteeing and dish-washing is ideal and one of my greatest pleasures, but how anticlimactic to do so for an audience of one? Reminds me of a quote I once heard, and I'm not sure who said this, "I'd rather dine once than eat forever." True, so true!

When Kat was here--and we both love to cook--there was such joy in going to the markets and picking out our vegetables and cutting and grating and happily chatting, and finally enjoying our meal together over a glass of wine. Community is so important in mealtimes--being on my own in a foreign country has taught me that. There are so many benefits to having my own place for which I am very thankful, but the eating part of it doesn't make the pros list.

Now that Kat's gone it seems I will revert back to my pre-Kat diet of lots of cereal, yogurt, and tuna fish. Maybe I'll add some pickles to the tuna if I get really inspired!

Dreams and visions

2006-12-02T15:34:00.000+01:00

Kat, Vesna (right) and me chillin' gangsta style at Peppers' Cafe

Vesna, from Sarajevo, is 20 years old and studying journalism at the university here. She hopes to travel the world and one day become a reknowned and influential news reporter. In a nation where many young people have given up hope for the future because of the poor economy, high unemployment rate, and other leftovers from the war of the early nineties, Vesna is one of the rare and few with great hopes and aspirations for a future in Bosnia.

I met Vesna a few months ago--she works part-time at the Videoteka (video store) where I am a member, and from the first time we talked I was impressed by the natural joy and life I saw in her. After several months of exchanging pleasantries when I'd stop in at the videoteka to check out a movie, I asked if she'd like to go for coffee sometime. So a few weeks ago Kathryn and I met with her at a cafe nearby and we spent several hours over coffee, chatting and exchanging life stories.

I was amazed by Vesna's maturity and comprehension of her nation, and of the world around her. Her focus and determination are uncharacteristic of the young Bosnian mind-set; Vesna knows what she wants, and she also cares about her nation and about its improvement. Many young people just can't wait to get out and go west where there is more opportunity for them, and linger in that state of waiting and wishing, pacifying themselves in the long interim with drugs and alcohol.

I admit that after that first get-together over coffee, my thought was, "Oh, if only more Bosnians were like Vesna." Then I realized that her peers were young enough to not be so tainted by the atrocities of the siege from '92-'96, and that there probably are more Bosnians like her--I just haven't met 'em yet. Not to say that there is no hope for the older generations, but the fact is that the young people will be the uprising leaders of this nation; and so, getting to know more people like Vesna gives me great hope for Bosnia and for the whole of the Balkans.

I believe that God will draw people like Vesna into the Kingdom and raise them up as leaders in this region. And I believe that through their influence and leadership, Bosnia and the whole of the Balkans will begin to see much change for the better. One of my jobs here is to really pray for and reach out to the youth--I am excited to see how God has given them a love and passion for life that will inevitably bring restoration and godliness to this wounded place!

Sarajevo, Ljubavi Moja

2006-12-02T14:30:00.000+01:00

My homework this weekend for language learning is translating the famous song Sarajevo, Ljubavi Moja (pron. L-YOU-BAH-VEE//MOY-AH), or Sarajevo, My Love, into English. While searching on the web for videos using the song, I found this beautiful video of footage and stills taken from the war.

A couple of the clips are graphic so look out. It's a good watch if you're interested to understand more about the gravity of the violence in Sarajevo during the siege.

2006-11-28T12:08:00.000+01:00

Did you know that simply having someone come to fix your leaky sink and shower can constitute an instant marriage proposal? "Hi, my name is Sefir the plumber, and I'd like to be your husband today." Kat suggested this morning that I grab Patrick's picture and shove it at the guy, and say, "Look, here he is." and let him think I was married. I am not that quick on my feet, however, and had already told him I was single before I had a chance to borrow Patrick for a few minutes.

Anyway, it evokes some sypmathy, meeting these lonely guys who probably try that "Will you marry me?" stunt with every hapless single foreign girl whose showers they fix, but let me just say, I was glad that Kat was here to laugh with me about it.

The guy went out to the car to get some tools for a Bosnian 10 minutes (25-30 minutes), and I think he may also be stopping at the floral shop to further attempt to win me. Be still, my heart!

Best picture EVER

2006-11-28T08:43:00.000+01:00

My sister Abby, and her hilariousness

Fog

2006-11-27T15:02:00.000+01:00

The valley effect has descended: we are totally enveloped in fog, and if you're walking at night you can't see in front of or behind you past 5 feet. Creepy. I walked home last night from the church and I felt like I was walking through a huge blanket; the fog is so thick it's tangible, and it muffles the natural sounds of the water and the wind, and I feel strange in the silence of it.

Thankfulness

2006-11-24T14:05:00.000+01:00

I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, wow. When I look back on my life over the past year, I see the marvelous grace that God has given me: He has truly fulfilled the desire of my heart to serve in another nation. In Matthew 6:33 He said "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." I understand how amazing it is to just let go of my plans and agenda and let God work.

I tried for so long to force God to go along with my agenda--had big plans about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go and who I wanted to marry and all that--things that the Lord might add unto me when I merely trust and delight in Him first. I realized that my plan making was getting me no where but depressed and frustrated. Last year on Thanksgiving I remember being in such a place of brokenness before God--out of college, in a job that I didn't like, and day after day wondering, "What now?" But I think in that time I truly learned to just say, "OK Lord, I just want You, and I know Your love for me and that my desires are from You--help me to just delight in You."

Now I see that my plans and agendas are so foolish compared to the plans that God has for me. Completely surrendering to God out of that place of brokenness brought me to a place I never thought I'd go, and things I never thought I would do. He has been fulfilling my desires in ways I couldn't have imagined. And as I looked around the table last night, I marveled that I was hosting people from four different nations--most of whom have never celebrated an American Thanksgiving before. I was so honored to serve them and fellowship with them and know them--most of all, I was just amazed to consider all of the things God has done in my life this year.

I think that many years from now, I will look back on this Thanksgiving as the most meaningful and special one of my life in many ways. Praise You, God, for Your faithfulness to Your children.

I've posted some pictures below from yesterday--enjoy!

Tiny European kitchen sinks are not 8 kilo bird-friendly: showers work pretty well, though!

Turkey in the shower--gitt'n 'er clean

Shampooing her--JUST KIDDING

Preparations on the kitchen floor (no room on the counters at this point)

Stuffing her!

Devin ironed all the tablecloths--yay!

Prijatno--she's finally done!

The feast

Post feast: full and satisfied

The group: 4 nations represented here: Bosnia, Sweden, Japan, and America--God is GOOD

Up a notch

2006-11-21T08:30:00.000+01:00

So I decided a couple of weeks ago that my progress in language learning has been going wayyy too slowly. The first stage I went through upon this realization was depression, then annoyance, then frustration, then resolve, and finally, gross determination to progress more quickly. So, here goes!

My Bosnian tutor and I have been voraciously attacking the 7 cases--we're on the akuzativ and dativ (accusative and dative) cases now. I am confused and ignorant, but determined! Last night I dreamed in Bosnian--people wiser than me have said that when I truly begin to understand the language I will begin to dream in that language...I hope so.

Right now I am crazily trying to memorize vocabulary and praying ceaselessly for supernatural knowledge, as in the book of Acts. At the moment I feel like a walking Tower of Babel.

Worship

2006-11-13T00:31:00.000+01:00

This morning Kathryn and I were talking about the sound of the music in the Balkan region--about how there seems to be a desperation, anger, and urgency in the voices and instruments. And in the worship here, there is a tremendous sound of lamentation.

Matt Redman prays at the end of a song he wrote titled Can A Nation Be Changed, "Hear the cry of the desperate, Lord!" That is the essence of music here--cries of the desperate. That is why I often cry during worship--I'm not just playing notes on the cello and Neno is not just strumming chords on his guitar--our instruments and our voices are revealing the groanings of the Father for this land that are too deep for words.

"My eyes will flow without ceasing, without respite, until the Lord from heaven looks down and sees; my eyes caused me grief at the fate of all the daughters of my city."
Lamentations 3: 49-51

Snapshots

2006-11-11T14:02:00.000+01:00

Birthday dinner

Debating over lunch

Busy at laptop

Neso translating for the English speakers (left)

Mexican

Fellowship

Vrelo Bosne

Sasa and Denis

Adoring an open air orchestra at a distance

Entertaining for dinner: Hanna and Tess from Sweden

Mikiba

Victory in Sarajevo

2006-11-11T13:56:00.000+01:00

Riotous fans walking past my building: notice the police on the midle righthand side, keeping order

Football (soccer) has just let out for the afternoon--a string of blaring car horns are announcing the victory of whoever (I'm assuming the more popular Bosnian team), and since I live on the busy intersection where the road to the airport in one direction is also the road to downtown in the other direction, our eardrums are being blasted apart!

Soon the enthused 20-something year old guys will parade down the streets, arm in arm, chanting the victory song, almost violently. It will be quite the experience to see a Bosnian football game; I'm planning to go next week to see it first-hand.

Hail to the Redskins!

2006-11-06T06:51:00.000+01:00

We beat Dallas in the fourth quarter yesterday! The Skins benefited from Dallas place kicker Mike Vanderjagt's fudged 35 yard field goal attempt that would have won it for Dallas. We then gained a 3 point victory on the turnover, the clock stopping with 22-19 Washington on the scoreboard. YYYEEEEE HAWWWW! I agree with you, Jon, beating Dallas, the team that Redskins and Redskin fans absolutely ABHOR, completely makes up for this not-so-hot 3 and 5 season.

The Redskins still have a chance at the playoffs because of this win. But they have to be undefeated from here on out. So it's basically sudden death--Jon, for as long as they last, we have a phone date. Come on, Gibbs, fight for all D.C. next week! We are watching and praying!

Pada snijeg!

2006-11-02T11:10:00.000+01:00

"Snow is falling!"

OK, the dumb Americans have had a contest going for about a month. The contest: each of us have predicted the first day that snow will fall in Sarajevo (and stick on the ground). Reward: the winner will be treated (by all the losers) to a free dinner at the fabulous Thai restaurant I just can't avoid talking about for more than three postings. My prediction for the first snowfall was the earliest of the whole group--November 2nd--today!

This morning before our prayer meeting we were all talking and laughing about this contest and all of the sudden Neno, who was at the window, quietly said, "Bekah, it's snowing." Of course I thought he was teasing me, but he was insistent and I got up and looked for myself. Voila--SNOW! Of course hysterical laughing and screaming ensued, the others screaming that the snow wouldn't stick, and me screaming that indeed it would!

OK, I have until midnight, because Kathryn's snow prediction is November 3rd (sneaky girl). Guess who won't be going to sleep tonight until 12:01 AM? So whatever, the snow stopped and hasn't started again yet, but many of the surrounding mountains are being blanketed as I write this, which gives me great faith. I'm sitting nervously in my living room, biting at my nails and feverishly sipping my Turkish coffee while glancing out the window every 3 or so seconds. I've done everything short of going outside and doing a snow dance to pray and claim it into being.

So, hold on to your wallets, friends--this is about to get ugly!

Remedied

2006-11-02T10:59:00.000+01:00

Oops, somewhere along the way I accidentally hit a setting on my blog that disallows non-subscribers to leave comments...I've fixed that problem (I think), so go for it...you know you want to leave me comments!

Happy November blogging

2006-11-01T23:19:00.000+01:00

I'm in the process of trying to redo/add/subtract from my blog (pictures, designs, what not), so please excuse me if random pictures/posts pop on and off in the next week or so. I'm getting blog-picky in my old age :) Cao.

Dubrovnik this weekend

2006-10-29T19:00:00.000+01:00

Outside a little family-owned wine shop

Beautiful villa we called home for 3 days

We are finally here and very pleased with ourselves!

It would be amazing to live in a place like this

I love this city

Enjoying a cappucino on the wall

Heavenly

Above the ruins

Nearly November on the Mediterranean

This would be loud if indeed it went off!

Fall flowers

Cruise ship from England that landed in Dubrovnik for the afternoon

"Nines" became my favorite card game this weekend--we hit the Mexican restaurant 2 out of the 3 nights we were in Dubrovnik

...even though both nights we ordered the cheapest thing on the menu!

Sunset

Another Jesus Film town

2006-10-24T12:20:00.000+02:00

Last week we hit Kresevo (Kresh-o-vo), in central Bosnia, to distribute Jesus Film invitations. I was thunderstruck by the natural beauty of the pyramidal-shaped mountains that surrounded us, and by the Bavarian-looking homes along the narrow streets of the tiny downtown district. I found later, as you will see if you click on the above link, that in medieval days there was an influx of German blacksmiths to Kresevo, where an abundance of precious metals attracted miners and smithies.

The 8 of us who volunteered for the distribution split up into 3 groups and were able to cover the entire town in less than 3 hours. We immensely enjoyed the scenery as we walked along the streets and up hills, greeting residents who happened to be outside as we passed. The majority of Kresevo's population is Catholic, so for the most part we were greeted with cordiality at worst, and enthusiastic invitations for coffee at best. Because of the nature of our invitations, the way we were received clearly showed us who was Catholic and who was Muslim.

The film was shown twice on Friday and Saturday evenings of last week, and the turnout was phenomenal. 18% of the tiny town (182 people total) attended the showings, making it the largest turnout by far. Many people also requested Bibles, and desired to be contacted and visited in the future. Our prayer is that eventually an Evangelical church will be planted there--we are trusting that the seeds sown last week will bear eternal fruit!

Below are some pictures of our day in Kresevo:

Downtown Kresevo, large Catholic church, center

Cross on a hill overlooking the Catholic side

One of the steep roads just outside of downtown--this particular road was at the threshold of the tiny Muslim subsection on the outskirts of town, and at the top of the hill I saw a small Muslim graveyard--the majority of deaths on the headstones read between 1992-1996 (or during the Serb siege)

Mosque in the Muslim district

Zeljko (pron. Jel-ko) pictured center, the head of the Sarajevo chapter of Campus Crusade's Jesus Film organization), briefing us on what to say to the villagers as we pass out invitations

'Baby Got Book'

2006-10-24T10:42:00.000+02:00

Hilarious. Thanks, Matt!

Sick days reading

2006-10-24T09:04:00.000+02:00

I'm in a quasi-forced time of rest from my usual activities in Sarajevo because of a bad cough I haven't been able to shake for the last 2 weeks. Family and friends who don't want the cough turning to bronchitis any more than I do have told me to take it easy and take time off. I've reluctantly agreed.

I admit that while the sabbatical time is nice, I feel a little stir crazy and sorry for myself at the moment. The pull of the beautiful outdoors today is horribly tempting, and there's always the temptation of the many cafes. But I will heed wise council nonetheless. So I decided it's a good time to catch up on some reading, and will start with one of Kathryn's: The Balkans, A Short History

On Thursday Kathryn and I drive to Dubrovnik, Croatia to enjoy more R&R and take in some of the sights before snow and subzero temperatures settle in. I think on our excursion I'm going to attack the rest of the Balkans book and then bring some eye, ahem, brain, candy along to purge the heaviness of the Balkan saga from my soul. My office here at the English school has quite a little library, and I'm thinking of finally returning the 2 total books I ever checked out there: the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (that I did not read) and the biography of Cary Grant (that I read with a vengeance), and replacing them with a good Jane Austen. Or whatever.

Being sick brings me to a sharp awareness of how pitifully ill-read I've become since college. I have tried and tried, but I haven't been successfully self-motivational in this area. Especially since obtaining my laptop has enabled me to read little snippets of this and that, somewhat fulfilling my intellectual senses, and definitely complementing my A.D.D.-like tendency to not sit still long enough to read an actual book.

So I launch in. I will probably be kicking myself in 2 weeks when I'm healthy again, and my good intentions have produced the fruit of one half-read book.

“Gun control is for wimps and commies.”

2006-10-23T16:03:00.000+02:00

Folks here are celebrating Bayram (the 4 day festal celebration at the end of Ramadan) by clogging up the grocery stores, feasting 24/7, and firing their guns into the air. The firing starts at about 8 in the morning and is loudest at night when more people are out celebrating. I don't know, I suppose that guns are sort of their substitute for fireworks?

This morning the apartment building literally shook once from one that was fired almost under our window, it seems. We debated on whether or not going outside would be wise, so we faced the mobbed supermarket and stocked up on groceries yesterday.

Everytime a gun fires it's hard not to be amused. Kat and I have been giggling all day. I think I find it so funny because America is so anti-gun as a whole, and I'm almost refreshed to be living in a culture where shooting guns is associated with celebration and feasting. It's also sort of redemptive, if you really think about it, for such a war-ridden culture. Or maybe because of all the wars, they just have the gun itch?

Hvala ti za krv!

2006-10-19T22:30:00.000+02:00

Sharing the Lord's Supper

Thursday night our church gave a love feast, hosted by Pastor Sasa, who with his family prepared a beautiful meal (and an amazing homemade baklava that followed). We sat together around the decorous table, candles cheerfully burning as a centerpiece. Close friends and family talked and laughed and loved one another. What a wonderful scene.

Before we ate we shared in The Lord's Supper, served by the pastors: bread, broken and passed around the table, red wine served from a silver cup. As we shared, there was a sense of true thanksgiving for the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us. I can't remember such a joyful, jubilant sharing of communion. Gathering together to fellowship and feast and celebrate Christ's sacrifice in this way was a foretaste of Heaven and the marriage supper of the Lamb.

I loved the fact that as the bread and wine was passed out we talked and laughed together--we were not forgetting the seriousness of what we were doing, but we took genuine pleasure in it. While it is true that mere enjoyment is not the point of communion, I believe that the church today has forgotten the joy and beauty of celebrating. I am used to cracker pellets and lukewarm grape juice in plastic vials, administered in somber silence. Sobriety is important, as is reverence. But I then think of the first communion, and I wonder if the feast in the upper room was much more like this feast I shared with the Bosnians on Thursday night?

Anyway my prayer is that, in all times to come, I will be able to remember with genuine thankfulness and humility Christ's sacrifice, and that remembering the blood that was spilled for my salvation truly is a time for celebration!

Hvala ti za krv (thank You for the blood)!

"He brought me to his banqueting table, and his banner over me is love." (S.S. 2:4)

The last few weeks at a glance

2006-10-16T11:56:00.000+02:00

The crew, out for dinner at Hot Wok Cafe--amazingly good Thai food. I don't think Bosnians like it much though, because the majority of guests every time I've eaten there have been Americans.

Downtown on the outskirts of Bascarsija

Fall in Sarajevo. Beautiful, but the leaves tend more to just fall off and skip the coloring process--boo!

Sanski Most, Bosnia--a very rural village northwest of Sarajevo. A few of us spent the weekend with the church there, and a Saturday afternoon at a farm helping some locals load firewood onto a wagon for delivery. Wood is how many people make their living in Sanski Most

This contraption sputtered and clanged along the street about every hour while we were in Sanski Most. No idea what is (any guesses?), but it looks like a medieval form of torture

Typical Sanski Most scene

Back in Sarajevo--SURPRISE! The pigeons decided my balcony was a great place to lay their spawn. I quickly retaliated...let's just say the egg isn't on my balcony anymore

Kathryn reading in one of our favorite cafes

Enjoying the local brew in Bascarsija (Old Town)

Youth conference--early October. GREAT turnout--this is the first time ECS (Evangelical Church Sarajevo) has hosted it

Kathryn--yay, I'm so glad to have a roommate! :)

Taxis and Jesus

2006-10-14T09:33:00.000+02:00

I have a "taxicab ministry." I ride the city taxis a lot here, usually when it's icily raining or I haven't gotten up early enough to get to my morning commitment on time. The other night, Kathryn and I decided to take a cab up one of the mountains to Parke Princiva (Parkay Prin-cheeva), a lovely restaurant/cafe overlooking the city. We enjoyed the wonderful cheese platter and Stella Artois in gold-rimmed goblets and watched the sun set over the many minarets and cozily lit village homes below.

On our way down we hailed another cab, and were delighted to meet Iso, our refreshingly kind taxi driver, with whom I fell immediately into conversation. Many of the cab drivers I meet are macho men who spend more time checking their reflections in the mirror than checking their blind spots, or know-it-alls who consider me priveleged to be in their car. But Iso had that rare open, gentle spirit about him, and I was thankful that between us, we knew enough of one another's languages to communicate.

As we talked, the opportunity naturally opened up for me to witness to him. Using "Bosglish," I asked him what religion he was. I found out he believed in God but in a deistic way--and didn't attend any sort of church. He believed in reincarnation ("I believe when I die I could come back as mouse."), and absolutely did not believe in heaven or hell.

I asked him if he had a Bible. "Yes, but I don't read it." So I asked him to read John 3:16, and I told him that my Christianity was not a "religion," but a relationship. I was basically able to share my testimony in a nutshell, and he listened with eager interest. He promised me that he would read his Bible.

Taking the taxis has been my greatest outlet for sharing the gospel here. I'm praying for Iso and his family, and trusting for other such opportunities to be salt and light to these people. I love this kind of ministry--it's not compartmentalized Christianity--it's being Christ to people in the mundane moments of life. I desire that my faith increases so that I can do this everywhere I go.

Tuesday evening

2006-10-10T22:23:00.000+02:00

Who woulda thunk it--excellent Thai restaurant smack dab in downtown Sarajevo. A delightful evening in the company of lovely friends, enjoying excellent (authentic--the restaurant owner is Thai) cuisine, and excellent conversation.

While we dined I almost forgot what city I was in--Hot Wok Cafe is in stark contrast to the usual hamburger and cevapi joints here; though after dinner I was refreshed to step back out into the Sarajevo night. The air is smoggy as usual, but tonight cool and full of fall smells; the familiar clear view of the mountains specked with lights from village homes...

Vendors actually roast chestnuts here on open fires at about every street corner from October to January. I try not to sing out the obligatory "Chestnuts roasting on an open fiiiiire.." theme every time I pass them. That is almost as American as bright yellow polar fleeces and very large and visible digital cameras.

Tonight the chestnuts looked very suspect--I am wary since I made purchase of a bag of them last week and they turned out to be a soggy disappointment. But I think, given what a beautiful night tonight was, they would have had to be crispy and delicious.

Hit me again

2006-09-24T16:02:00.000+02:00

Watch out, Sarajevo...I'm BACK!

Post sunset is now happy hour at the bakery--cranking out the hot rolls faster than you can say "Ramadan"

"Frizer" means "male hair stylist"--this is where I'll be going fortnightly (or so) since my hair has recently become much higher maintenance

Mosque near my apartment: if you notice the lights on the lower left hand side of the building, there is a fast food restaurant, a salon, and a mini market added on: Mosque/strip mall, convenience and worship--quite American!

My favorite convenience store. Most beloved items: eggs and bake rolls (bagel chips)

Sunday morning at Evandeoska Crkva: true worship

Symbol of hope and God's promise for Sarajevo

2006-09-24T01:05:00.000+02:00

Engrish.com

Milan is.....uuugh!

2006-09-19T14:43:00.000+02:00

Back to Sarajevo today via Milan. My last international flight connected in Milan, and I found it to be (in contrast to my experiences with the efficient, almost disturbingly adept Vienna, Munich, and Frankfurt Airport personnel) dirty, disorganized, and filled with morons.

I think the moron part of it had something to do with the inevitable traveler's exhaustion and disorientation, but I truly have never seen a more inept bunch of people than were the Milanese airport staff. So, there it is. I'll report on my second encounter with Milan and let you know if it was just me.

College Outreach

2006-09-16T15:41:00.000+02:00

Beautiful Ball Circle, where Intervarsity & other Christian Organizations do campus outreaches at Mary Washington

Last night I played cello at an outreach with Intervarsity's student ministry at Mary Washington College. What a tough crowd. American college students, I think, are the worst, most cynical bunch to play to.

I realize what iron stuff these American campus evangelists are made of. I prefer doing outreaches in downtown Sarajevo, where everyone but me is a Muslim, and no one but me speaks a lick of English. Being stared down by a 19 year old atheist from Fredericksburg is much more terrifying!

Christmas in Eastern Europe

2006-09-14T14:56:00.000+02:00

Since I'm not returning to the States for Christmas I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to fit stuff like canned pumpkin and evaporated milk and seasoning and spices and Christmas lights in my luggage. I'm going to attempt to cook dinner on Christmas day and keep up some semblance of tradition in my little apartment. I take for granted that I can't just run to the store and grab a frozen turkey or a can of yams. Inconveniences aside, though, I'm excited about celebrating Christmas in a Muslim country.

The contrast between the United States--despite it's ever-increasing commercialism--that predominantly celebrates Christmas in some form, and Bosnia, a country that pays no homage whatsoever, is going to be an eye opener for me. Curious that I'll be living in a culture where December 25 is just another work day. But I think the fact that so few Bosnians celebrate Christmas is going to make the celebration that much more precious to me.

I'll be sad and lonely, thinking about family and friends so far away, and about not hearing the carols and hymns or seeing the advent candle lit; but in a different light, this experience is a task I've been assigned to. As an ambassador of Christ, I am salt and light in this world, and our meager Sarajevo celebration will be a pinprick of the light and truth of Christ in the darkness. It's an amazing opportunity!

On a more practical level, let's just trust that my cans of pumpkin and evaporated milk will go through airport security. And that I don't burn dinner...Well, first I hope my oven works--I've not even tried it yet. If everything turns out as planned I shall be quite pleased.

Cell phones replacing landlines?

2006-09-14T05:37:00.000+02:00

What do you think will have become obsolete in the next decade? My vote is supermarket cashiers.

2006-09-07T20:31:00.000+02:00

Well, hi. I am getting antsy about getting back to Sarajevo. I'm glad I feel this way. If I was dreading it I knew it wouldn't be right to be going back. But now I'm counting down the days and am becoming increasingly excited.

I've never lived in Europe in the fall and I admit I am slightly biased towards Virginia--but I'll be glad to have a more informed opinion.

2006-09-07T03:22:00.000+02:00

I confess I am very, very sad about the Croc Hunter.

Late August

2006-08-28T16:33:00.000+02:00

Re-reading the Road Dahl collection--Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for the 20th time. Currently: The BFG. I still find these books a little creepy and disturbing. But I howled with laughter at Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka.

New favorite quote

2006-08-18T16:44:00.000+02:00

Last night during dinner, Abby's friend John, in response to my query as to why Abby didn't heat up the extra can of corn she opened for him, said, "That's alright, I'm content with sub-par-ism." Fabulous.

2006-08-18T16:32:00.000+02:00

"Look around, Bob; what does everything you see here have in common?....vacation. Vacation, Bob."

Five days until Outer Banks, NC--can't wait!

2006-08-16T18:40:00.000+02:00

My sister got married last Saturday. It was a wonderful day and a tremendous weekend. I think my most favorite highlight, though, was Friday afternoon when all the girls were treated by my cousin and aunt to manicures and pedicures--ahhh. We had a BLAST! Pink champagne and fruit and strawberry-flavored cream cheese. Have you ever done one of those spa treatments? Those massage chairs make it happen. Best waste of $22 I've ever enjoyed! And our toes also looked great for the wedding.

Friday evening as I was walking in to the church for the rehearsal, my flip flop caught on some uneven sidewalk and I wiped out. I also had an armful of bags, so the dynamic of hitting pavement with extra baggage increased the decibel level impressively. My knee gushed blood and I went through 3 bandaids as I tried to play cello while the moms and Jeremy and the groomsmen processed in. Hahaha. Unforgettable.

Saturday was unreal. One moment I was riding in the car with Rachel like old times, and the next she was standing next to Jeremy and pledging her troth. They both looked fabulous (and I mean that in a not gay way :) and happy. I almost fainted during the ceremony. According to the guests I wavered tremendously and my dad actually got up to ask me if I was OK. One must not lock one's knees when standing for a very long time. I was paranoid for the whole rest of the ceremony that I was going to fall. I tried as hard as I could to enjoy and take in what was going on, while simultaneously wishing that it would end. But crash I did not, and it was a fantastic ceremony. I was so proud of Rachel.

I'm in withdrawal from the whole event: recovering from the 13.5 hour drive, leaving my sister smack in the middle of the country with a guy named Jeremy (no offense, brother :), and the inevitable emotion of "the wedding's over." Whew, can I have a side of denial with that, please?

So I'm grunging in the basement a little bit thinking and computering. I'm supposed to be working on my mission report, but I've listened to Barry Phillips a lot lately on my laptop and think I've got a cello song in the makings in my head. I really want to record a wedding album--both with lyrics and not. I think that when it comes to music, wedding material errs a little on the weak side. I want to remain traditional sounding but lose the 56 measures of repetitive, redundant Canons in D.

Anyway, for something completely different, I just read that Dell is recalling their computers because of faulty and explosive batteries--I think I'm going to shut her down and keep her away from my vital organs for a while :) Please comment with any hilarious wedding stories!

Wedding Weekend

2006-08-13T15:38:00.000+02:00

Awww!

Manicures and pedicures--woo hoo!

Mom and Aunt Missy soaking it up!

I think at one point we all fell asleep in these massage chairs

Thanks to Christa and Aunt Missy for treating all of the girls to a relaxing afternoon of pampering and pink champagne!

Aren't my cousins absolutely gorgeous?!

Uncle Mike's pseudo-personality, "Fred"

Dad and Rachel practicing to walk the gauntlet

My new sisters-in-law, Shannon and Carrie, toasting to Rachel and Jeremy

My BEAUTIFUL family--love them all so much

Two words: Maloooooone's and SHRAAAAAAANEY! ;)

Rachel with the moms' flowers

Christa and me!!! I love you, Shraen!
Our terrifying bartender: my brother was convinced he's part-demon
Nod back to FCS days, "Mr. Fulcher" and Jered stacking tables!

Rachel and I trying to be emo--it gives more the attempting to pick our nose effect, I think

Jesus and Moses presiding over the liquor cabinet--making sure we don't have too much fun

Preception party flowers: They overran the kitchen sink and counters--anywhere there was access to water!

Isn't Elisabeth's hair gawwwgeous??

Kelly, Rachel, Liz, Kathryn: Rachel's college friends--love you girls so much!

Gathering necessary wedding items at Costco

Rachel modeling her veil

Mom and Rachel minutes before the wedding, tear :)

Sorry I only have a picture of Jeremy's back--more to come

Catching up with consumerism

2006-08-05T18:47:00.000+02:00

I'm looking to be in the market for an IPod or some other such monstrosity...and suggestions/recommendations as to brand/type, etc.?

Leavings

2006-08-03T23:16:00.000+02:00

August 3rd=not a good time to shop for a bridesmaid dress. Today I got progressively more clipped with the cheerful salespeople who asked me if I found everything OK. "No, I did not!" In other words, "I'm mad because I decided to spend all of the good shopping months in Eastern Europe and have come back to your picked over remains." Yuck!

Garage

2006-07-28T19:24:00.000+02:00

"Garage"--soft g or hard g (you people from England say it properly anyway so your vote doesn't count ;)?

Anyway, going down to the garaaa---- to sort through years of junk I've left neglected but somehow never have been quite able to part with.

2006-07-26T15:26:00.000+02:00

I am back in Virginia...Can't explain the shock. It's as though in the last four months, someone went in and erased all of my prior memories of this place. The grocery stores have grown massive and shockingly bright and I notice pleasant donut smells as I stand in line. The lady standing behind me is giving me personal space and not trying to push me forward as I sign my credit card receipt. An iced caramel macchiato yesterday tasted like the first Starbucks I've ever had. I think I downed it in 4 minutes. People are carrying on conversations in English and understanding each other. I'm near my family and they actually enjoy my humor--yayyyy!

Post #100

2006-07-22T15:16:00.000+02:00

Thought I'd share a few more pictures with you from the last few weeks...

The best cafe above the city: SPECTACULAR view

Shopping for sustenance before the loong train ride to Budapest

Mine fields--still active in places--this one at Vrelo Bosna, a famous public park in Sarajevo

This is by far the best way to get around town...Pastor Sasa lets me drive it!

Old Mosque in the Turkish quarter--we took the team here for their last evening in Sarajevo

Lake at Vrelo Bosna

American Team--3 Week Recap

2006-07-20T23:41:00.000+02:00

Painting the church

Preaching and teaching

My Bosnian Pastor in some kickin' shades

Downtown with the locals

At coffee

Storm moving in to camp

Above the mountain

Hello

2006-07-20T21:02:00.000+02:00

The past several weeks have been quite busy--thank you for your forgiveness. It's been fun touring Americans around Sarajevo! Gotten to show off my slowly-improving Bosnian conversational skills.

Last night I took a couple of friends out to a Thai restaurant--best Thai food in E. Europe is found in downtown Sarajevo, by the way. Way overpriced and overpopulated by Americans and Germans--delicious.

I go to the States in 3 days for the wedding, vacation, etc. Trying to think of how I'm going to sum up these past 4 months in Sarajevo to friends and family...I think a smile, a shrug, and some Milka chocolate should do the trick.

I do apologize...

2006-07-11T14:09:00.000+02:00

...for being so utterly scarce lately. Between my internet cable being down for the past two weeks because of construction/repairs on my apartment building, and spending 7 nights in a tent on the hard ground in a Bosnian valley, I have had no time to even check e-mail, let alone blog. I trust everything will be back in business by tomorrow at the latest; until then, I remain your faithful. Don't give up on me!

Mindless amusement

2006-06-19T12:02:00.000+02:00

I just discovered this. Really fun (unless you're color blind)!

2006-06-19T10:50:00.000+02:00

It seems I've barely arrived and adjusted to Sarajevo, and the mission team is already coming on Wednesday. Last year at this time I was on the mission team; we'd just finished a grueling 3 months of car washing and other such fundraising, madly making up for all of the extra airfare costs because of highly inflated fuel prices. I'd just finished my bachelor's degree (finally), and we'd had a beautiful graduation party in my back yard, thrown by my lovely family.

Here I am a year later in a little apartment in Sarajevo reflecting over the last year of my life. I started this blog last July right after I got home from Europe. After a month in Europe I was feeling crazy and disoriented and the blogging really helped stabilize me. I never would have started blogging had Rachel not practically forced me to, and now I realize how smart she was in doing so.

So I blogged and sat in the basement wondering if there was life after college. I honestly had no idea how to write a resume (I still don't, really), and the thought of trying to tell prospective bosses "a little bit about myself" terrified me. I felt I had no skills whatsoever that would remotely contribute to the workforce, and as I monster.com'd my way through each day, I felt a growing sense of terror.

I was unemployed from July to September. During that time I spent most waking hours on the computer trying to find any employment, wondering why I'd gone to college if I was applying for the position of a receptionist at a dental office. Sometimes I would do temp work, sometimes I would pass out beer samples in grocery stores for $20 an hour. Every month my debts increased and I wondered if I should just start working 60 hours a week at a grocery store. September came along and I finally found something through a temp agency. The work was blue collar, I was bored by the second day, but it was work and it was $12 an hour, and it beat a grocery store.

September through March were probably the most humbling months of my life (so far). I felt I was subsisting, just making enough money to keep myself afloat, and I shuddered to think that this was how it was always going to be. I knew my job was menial but I wondered if all jobs would feel this way to me. I had so many desires and dreams, and I was afraid that if I became a teacher or an editor or something like that, I would find myself trapped with no way to see my dreams fulfilled.

In late December everything changed. I'd been so caught up in trying to find a good job and make a life for myself that I hadn't realized the golden opportunity right in front of me. Suffice it to say God provided way after way for me, and here I am in Sarajevo. He showed me how He'd brilliantly set up all of the circumstances in my life that would make it very easy for me to go. My car had been paid off, and was now running so weakly I was able to get rid of it for $300, my job was easy to leave, and I was single with nothing, and no one, preventing me from packing up and moving 6,000 miles, or 9,654 kilometers, away.

When I got on a plane and came to Sarajevo last June I had no idea that a year later I'd be back or what would have to take place to get me here. If I'd known all that was going to happen I don't think I could stand going through it. However, if I hadn't allowed God to change me the way He did, I never would have known the feeling of coming through that rough season and rejoicing.

2006-06-17T12:39:00.000+02:00

One of the best dance scenes I've seen in a movie.

Post 92: The Headache

2006-06-16T14:12:00.000+02:00

I've got the headache today somethin' fierce and I've been sitting motionless all morning and early afternoon. Sudden movements send jolts of unpleasantness into my already throbbing noggin. So I decided to make a list of all the items of comfort for the days when I'm under the weather...Please add yours under each category:

Clothing:
1 large bathrobe
flannel pants
inappropriately thick socks

Food:
Campbell's soup: tomato and chicken noodle
PG Tipps English tea
Baked custard
Cream of Wheat

Diversions:
Sandra Bullock or Bill Murray
Roald Dahl or Madeleine L'Engle
Word searches, horribly easy ones
I make pity party compilation CD's for myself

Preferred Meds:
Everything: Green and black tea
Headache: Ibuprofen
Cold and Flu: DayQuil/NyQuil
Puking: Nothing, I'd rather be dead

2006-06-16T13:21:00.000+02:00

Bosnia is a very Caribbean-unfriendly country. No limes or coconut milk to be found!

Truly Sarajevo

2006-06-14T10:10:00.000+02:00

It's a beautiful morning. Shopping later with a couple of Bosnian pals in Baščaršija (Bash-char-shee-ya), the beautiful Turkish section. In checking out some websites and pictures of Baščaršija I came across this article and thought it the first thing I've read that, coming from an American and an outsider, does Sarajevo justice. Enjoy.