Hiro's first photoshoot

Tightly wadded up baby

Hiro with the Caulks

Happy moment

Aunt Rebekah and Aunt Abby

Bye!

Early tomorrow morning I'm going out of town...first to Kentucky to see Grandma Caulk, then to Missouri to see Rachel and Jeremy and my new nephew, then to Illinois to see my mom's relatives, lastly to Michigan, to visit my cousins and aunt and uncle.

I will post some pictures soon, especially of the nephew Hiro (Japanese, means "generous")!

I wonder if Braxton Hicks was related to Taylor Hicks...

Friday night US Army Band

Transitioning

Well, it's a time of transitioning--majorly...I'm in VA for a month, and while here I've got some real life thinking to do. Having been here a week, today I decided was the day to start tackling some of this tough life stuff.

The past months in Bosnia, ridden by times of joy, chaos, confusion, decision, new beginnings, old ends, and just days of throwing up my hands and not having any answers, are now concluded...and here I stand at the end of them with one simple question to sum it all up: what now?

We often ask ourselves and one another, where do I/you see my/yourself a few years from now? I thought I had the answer before I moved to Bosnia. But what's happened in me recently is that I've really needed to figure out a lot of things about myself: particularly who I am and what I really want and what it all means in my relationship and submission to God.

And through this struggle to find this stuff out, I've had to battle some demons I've had for years that threatened to destroy my faith and confidence. I've cried, laughed, spent days utterly frustrated and depressed, had days of feeling like I couldn't make it...and now on the other side of the spectrum I see how necessary it was for me to "suffer" and see the ugliness of my heart in the light of God. If the light is allowed to shine, the darkness cannot dwell.

I went to Bosnia to serve, but now I see that the Lord's plans for me were a little more detailed than that...He decided to take me far away from home and my comfortable, insulated environment, and to show me what a selfish, weak child I am without Him. And boy, does God have a way of letting us see who we are without Him.

But "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) And I found such friends in those difficult times. I found people who aren't going to give up on me. Because God didn't. God allowed those people to speak strong truths into my life, and to tell me boldly. How it's possible to express thanks enough to friends like that, I don't know....

Who I am and where I want to go (back to Bosnia, for now) and what I want to do (continue teaching English as well as pursue some other desires), and who I want to be in God and how I want to serve...all those blanks are filling in. There are a few other blanks that I'm taking this month to seriously consider and pray for, but I am encouraged, and I am starting to not fear the unknown.

I feel like I've been under the surgeon's knife, completed the surgery, and am now going through the slow process of relearning some of the basics, but each step forward is walking away from the past and putting good ground between myself and what is dead. Thanks for helping me on that walk.

Za tebe, hvala