May I once again direct you to Perihelion if you'd like to see pictures from our lovely Sarajevo Christmas Eve. The first few are of St. Anthony's Cathedral downtown.

I committed a dastardly deed and forgot my camera that evening, but Elena was able to capture the essence of the celebration beautifully! Thanks, Elena!

Christmas east of you

Christmas quietly came and went in Sarajevo, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed spending it here. Surprised, because the majority of the population is Muslim--yeah, bah humbug! There's no way to tell that it's Christmas in Sarajevo by looking out the window; mind you, there are a few stores owned by the Slovenians and Croatians that put up decorations and have the obligatory Santa in all forms: inflatable, mechanical, and the real deal. But for the most part Christmas looks and feels like just another day here.

At first that fact upset me, but then I got to thinking that if I strip off all my pre-conceived notions of how things ought to be and simply focus on just having a heart of celebration, the decorations and traditions are merely icing on the cake. Freed from the distractions of all the to-do of the Christmas season, I was able to celebrate with more joy and thankfulness than I think I ever have, and the reality of Christ's birth and humanity on this earth was even more amazing to me.

On Christmas Eve morning at church, though nothing was mentioned during the service about Christmas, everyone kindly greeted me with "Sretan Božić" (Merry Christmas). I have come to really sympathize with the fact that Christmas is associated so much here with the suffering of war and religious and political agenda. And since most of the church members converted from Islam, Christmas is not even a part of their vocabulary--it's just another religious something that the Catholic and Orthodox churches recognize. For a long time it was very hard for me to accept the fact that this church doesn't acknowledge Christmas or Easter, but living here and coming to know this culture has truly softened my heart on the issue.

So, the few of us who celebrated put our heads together and were able to conjure up a lovely Christmas celebration. I made some familiar, traditional Christmas foods, and later people came over and we talked and sang and sipped hot mulled wine. No gift-giving, just delightful fellowship. I loved the simplicity of it--there's so much commotion and busyness associated with Christmas that it's hard to just relax and really enjoy one another. I loved that I was able to really enjoy people this year.

And at 11:30 we headed downtown to St. Anthony's, the beautiful Catholic cathedral, for the midnight mass. This was my favorite part of the evening. The cathedral was absolutely packed, so much so that the crowd was spilling out into the entranceway. Fireworks were going off in the street right outside the building, some of them so loud that they were setting off car alarms. Everyone smelled like too much beer, and standing so close to people made it a bit difficult to breathe, but it was an unforgettable moment in my life.

As I stood in the crowd and watched, I realized that I love a lot of the liturgy of the Catholics--I believe that the fear of God and the reverance has been lost in many evangelical churches, and that we're too relaxed in the presence of God. It's convicting to know that, though we should absolutely not embrace their doctrine, we could learn a lot from the Catholics about putting holiness and fear of the Almighty God back into the church.

But I digress. It was the first mass I've ever seen and I really enjoyed it; and what a beautiful building. Not cheesy and filled with icons like some of the Orthodox churches I've seen. A beautiful domed ceiling to which the organ and voices raised the familiar strains of Silent Night (in Bosnian). Thanks to Boro, my Bosnian friend, I was able to understand the gist of the mass, too, though from where we were standing it was difficult to hear the pope. He did a fabulous job translating, though, despite the hindrance.

On Christmas Day I ordered chicken curry from Taj Mahal, and watched Elizabeth Bennet fall in love with Mr. Darcy all over again. Six hours of pure, Jane Austen bliss. That's my idea of a Christmas Day well spent. And thanks to Skype, I got to wish the family a Merry Christmas both days, and hear about all the festivities, food and gifts on their end.

So, it's all over until next year. It always surprises me how quickly Christmas comes and goes. What a blessing to have been able to spend it here. I have absolutely no idea where I'll be next year, but I'm sure I will let you know.

Merry Christmas once again, and Happy New Year!

Johann turned in his grave

I was possessed this afternoon and decided to dust off my Bach, Six Suites for Cello, that I haven't touched since college. Three hours later I realized I was still sawing away at it; take the word "sawing" literally--hack, hack, hack.

Oh, the justice I did NOT do to Bach today. Shame on me for being so rusty!

Amen, Amen, Amen, AMEN!

Thanks to my sister Abby, at last I know that I have a kindred spirit who understands, as a fellow cellist, my loathing of this composer.

"'Come now, let us reason together,' says the Lord: 'though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be white as snow...'" Isaiah 1:18

4:30 AM

My Beautiful Poinsettia

It's Christmastime, so the other day I bought a poinsettia--I didn't even know that poinsettias grew here, so I was thrilled when Mark and Elena told me that indeed they do, and showed me to the floral shop where they're sold. I found the perfect one, bought it, and it now proudly sits on my table in the living room by the window.

List of "Good Stuff" wanes

Neglected blogs will be deleted. Muahahahaa!

Check out Mark and Elena's blog site for pictures from Mozart's Requiem last night. They are beautiful. It was an phenomenal evening, never to be forgotten!

I was meditating on Psalm 125 in devotions today, and was really struck by the beginning of the chapter:

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds the people, from this time forth and forevermore." (1-2)

What an image! I just think about the mountains that surround my little valley of Sarajevo, the might and majesty that towers above us, that shields us from strong winds and provides us with water and the lumber that heats our homes. We, in Christ, are every bit as strong as those mountains.

How opposite I feel to a mountain when I am anxious--it's so against the natural tendency to trust in the Lord--the big deception is the belief that holding on to worry and fretting over things gives me more control in my circumstances. I am learning, though, that giving all over to God and trusting the Lord brings me peace, and when I simply trust, all fear is vanquished.

When I am pressing into God I am the boldest, most faith-filled person--in Christ there is nothing I can't do--but when I begin to let doubt creep in, little by little that faith is eaten away at, and I become a pessimistic worrier--and I'm most definitely the opposite of bold.

So, what seems so backward and unnatural in my flesh is the very thing that lifts me up and frees me from cares and fears. Truly, we can do all things through Him who gives us strength! (Philippians 4:13)

I realize once again that this truth is "old hat" to me--but humbled because of the need to preach it to myself daily, and convicted by how easily I begin to forget. If I'm not getting filled, I'm being emptied. So God, let me be as Mount Zion, and trust in You with everything I have today!

Tonight, tonight!!

Tonight, the Philharmonic Orchestra of Sarajevo proudly presents: Mozart's Requiem. Oh, glorious, wondrous night! Oh, heavenly sounds!

On (not) cooking for one

I forget to eat when I'm alone. Like right now, I'm sitting with my Bosnian/Croatian dictionary and language texts spread out all over the floor, studying vocab and padeži (cases), a cup of half-consumed and now undrinkable coffee and an orange peel at my side, and I'm wondering why all of the sudden my stomach is acting insane and I feel faint? It's been 4 hours since the orange, and I'm realizing I accidentally missed that whole breakfast and lunch memo.

Please bear with me for a minute or two of pure belly-aching (pardon the pun) :). The thought of going into the kitchen right now and preparing food makes me bored. I absolutely adore cooking--big groups of guests and the happy chaos of chopping and sauteeing and dish-washing is ideal and one of my greatest pleasures, but how anticlimactic to do so for an audience of one? Reminds me of a quote I once heard, and I'm not sure who said this, "I'd rather dine once than eat forever." True, so true!

When Kat was here--and we both love to cook--there was such joy in going to the markets and picking out our vegetables and cutting and grating and happily chatting, and finally enjoying our meal together over a glass of wine. Community is so important in mealtimes--being on my own in a foreign country has taught me that. There are so many benefits to having my own place for which I am very thankful, but the eating part of it doesn't make the pros list.

Now that Kat's gone it seems I will revert back to my pre-Kat diet of lots of cereal, yogurt, and tuna fish. Maybe I'll add some pickles to the tuna if I get really inspired!

Dreams and visions

Kat, Vesna (right) and me chillin' gangsta style at Peppers' Cafe

Vesna, from Sarajevo, is 20 years old and studying journalism at the university here. She hopes to travel the world and one day become a reknowned and influential news reporter. In a nation where many young people have given up hope for the future because of the poor economy, high unemployment rate, and other leftovers from the war of the early nineties, Vesna is one of the rare and few with great hopes and aspirations for a future in Bosnia.

I met Vesna a few months ago--she works part-time at the Videoteka (video store) where I am a member, and from the first time we talked I was impressed by the natural joy and life I saw in her. After several months of exchanging pleasantries when I'd stop in at the videoteka to check out a movie, I asked if she'd like to go for coffee sometime. So a few weeks ago Kathryn and I met with her at a cafe nearby and we spent several hours over coffee, chatting and exchanging life stories.

I was amazed by Vesna's maturity and comprehension of her nation, and of the world around her. Her focus and determination are uncharacteristic of the young Bosnian mind-set; Vesna knows what she wants, and she also cares about her nation and about its improvement. Many young people just can't wait to get out and go west where there is more opportunity for them, and linger in that state of waiting and wishing, pacifying themselves in the long interim with drugs and alcohol.

I admit that after that first get-together over coffee, my thought was, "Oh, if only more Bosnians were like Vesna." Then I realized that her peers were young enough to not be so tainted by the atrocities of the siege from '92-'96, and that there probably are more Bosnians like her--I just haven't met 'em yet. Not to say that there is no hope for the older generations, but the fact is that the young people will be the uprising leaders of this nation; and so, getting to know more people like Vesna gives me great hope for Bosnia and for the whole of the Balkans.

I believe that God will draw people like Vesna into the Kingdom and raise them up as leaders in this region. And I believe that through their influence and leadership, Bosnia and the whole of the Balkans will begin to see much change for the better. One of my jobs here is to really pray for and reach out to the youth--I am excited to see how God has given them a love and passion for life that will inevitably bring restoration and godliness to this wounded place!

Sarajevo, Ljubavi Moja

My homework this weekend for language learning is translating the famous song Sarajevo, Ljubavi Moja (pron. L-YOU-BAH-VEE//MOY-AH), or Sarajevo, My Love, into English. While searching on the web for videos using the song, I found this beautiful video of footage and stills taken from the war.

A couple of the clips are graphic so look out. It's a good watch if you're interested to understand more about the gravity of the violence in Sarajevo during the siege.